


Moving Forward

by Lobotomite



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, set two and a bit years in the future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-26 00:36:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12544872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lobotomite/pseuds/Lobotomite
Summary: Bex never planned on being a mum or settling down, especially not settling into a tiny little village in the middle of nowhere. Where her life is at right now - it's a place she never thought she would be. But now that she's got it, there's nothing in the world that could make her give it up.





	Moving Forward

**Author's Note:**

  * For [afanwhodreams](https://archiveofourown.org/users/afanwhodreams/gifts).



> Happy (belated) birthday! I know this isn't exactly what you asked for, but I hope you enjoy this while I get that one finished. <3

Bex had never thought she was going to be a mother. Even when she had proof that it was happening – her growing belly, the blurry sonograms of her tiny boy, the undeniably strange feeling of a little person moving about inside her – it was hard to picture herself actually being a _parent_. Motherhood was for people like Chrissie, who thrived with stability and structure, not her, who had always craved adventure and change.

Yet here she is, two years on from bringing baby Sebastian into the world, having managed to pick up two older siblings for him along the way. She's gone from frequent globe trotting to considering going past Hotten a big trip, the word "spontaneous" has been essentially stricken from her vocabulary with the need to keep up with school and daycare and activities for three kids, and date night consists of foisting the kids off on various family members and enjoying what would be, to the Bex of the past, a normal quiet night in.

She's never been happier.

She loves Seb so, so much – the sleepless nights, the mountains of messy diapers, the whinging and the tantrums, she'd never call them satisfying or anything close to enjoyable but god, are they worth it. When he's beaming his gummy grin at something so mundane to her but new and delightful to him, when he's squealing with laughter, when he's fast asleep in her arms, the world feels settled and perfect.

It's a little bit harder, with Sarah and Jack. It's not that they're not great kids, because they are, and she adores them. Sarah is whip-smart and personable, just as quick to throw herself into helping out as she is to put that Dingle brain of hers to use and wheedle her way to the top of any given situation. And Jack is the definition of a sweetheart, shyer and more reserved than his sister but with just as big a heart. It's just that it's always going to be more complicated, fitting into a child's life when they're older, when she didn't have that initial building block of complete dependency that she has with Seb. She's had to earn their affection and trust.

She'd known it wouldn't be simple, merging her and Debbie's lives together. Things like moving in together were hard enough without bringing kids into the mix. Some days she's convinced she's always going to be a relative outsider to those two kids, convinced that she's fucking it all up and just being a burden and inconvenience to Debbie. She feels selfish and awful, because even if that was true, she doesn't think she could bring herself to give Debbie up. The thought of not waking up to her stretched out on the bed next to her, not seeing her bouncing Sebastian in her arms, never again being on the receiving end of that wicked smile as she's pulled in close – it's too much. She never was any good at denying herself what she wanted, so as long as Debbie will have her, she'll be right here.

But things are moving along, are getting easier and more natural. Most of the time, they feel like what they are – a proper little family. She treasures all of the little milestones that prove the closeness - the first time Sarah comes to her about a tiff with a friend, the first time one of Jack's drawings featured another stick figure with long blond hair holding hands with the one that represented Debbie, that day her and Sarah team up to bake Debbie surprise muffins because they know she's had a rough day - and today is going to be tucked into that little scrapbook of memories as well.

Not that it's been an easy day; Jack had woken up clearly ill, red eyed and cranky and complaining of a sore throat. The usually chaotic morning routine had been further complicated by Debbie veering back and forth on whether she can stand to reschedule her meeting to stay home before Bex ushers her out the door with a kiss and a promise to just bring Jack to work with her. Chrissie and her dad will understand, surely, and Seb comes with her most days, anyway; how much harder can things be with one more kid along for the ride?

As it turns out, a lot harder.

Jack is in a foul mood, sore and tired and upset, and his bad mood has Sebastian on edge, as well. She feels like she doesn't get a chance to rest all day, between soothing the boys, hovering over Jack and making sure he's as alright as he can be, and doing her best to get some semblance of work done. When it's finally time to bundle them into the car and head back home, she could quite happily hop right into bed and go to sleep. But despite all of that, she can't keep the smile off her face – because Jack is a good kid, and quiet to a fault, and him letting himself be a bit snotty and grumpy with her means that he feels safe doing so. Part of being a parent is taking the good _and_ the bad, and she might not enjoy the bad, but she cherishes being there for it.

They get home to Debbie already starting on dinner, and after getting Seb set up in the living room and then being chased out of the kitchen for being too distracting, she settles onto the couch next to Jack who's quietly watching TV. She'd intended to mess around on the laptop until dinner, but as soon as she sits down Jack shuffles over and cuddles into her side – she can handle watching some cartoons for a while, instead.

He's out to it within minutes, head on her chest and breathing even and deep. Sebastian is happily babbling to himself and waving some toys around, Sarah is quietly working on what she assumes – hopes – is homework, the sounds and smells of dinner being made are drifting into the living room – everything feels soft and comfortable and mundane.

She's never been happier.


End file.
